


Where We Love is Home

by queerwriterbee



Series: Evak Multiverse Theory: The Infinity of Isak and Even [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: 1st Year Isak, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Foster Care, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Manic Episode, Past Rape/Non-con, Rimming, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 12:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13658775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerwriterbee/pseuds/queerwriterbee
Summary: When Isak’s dad had told him about his colleague’s new foster son, he’d been skeptical. And a little annoyed.Ok, a lot annoyed.Why was it his responsibility to make sure this guy made it through the school year? It was Isak’s first year at Nissen, too. Things were going to be difficult enough for him without having to worry about someone he didn’t even know’s kid.(or: an AU where Even is the new foster child of Terje's friends the Bech Naesheims and is starting at Nissen with Isak. Lots of feelings and craziness ensue but, like always, Even and Isak find their way in the end.)





	Where We Love is Home

**Author's Note:**

> CW: reference to past suicide attempt, reference to past foster sibling rape, manic episode, and explicit sexual content. 
> 
> Hello all! This is my second fan fiction ever as well as for this fandom. I love Evak and Skam and I also love the TV show The Foster's. I was watching the most recent season when I got hit with this idea. I don't know really how foster care works in Norway but, I know that they do have a system so I tried my best. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy-- please feel free to leave comments! :)

When Isak’s dad had told him about his colleague’s new foster son, he’d been skeptical. And a little annoyed. 

Ok, a lot annoyed.

Why was it his responsibility to make sure this guy made it through the school year? It was Isak’s first year at Nissen, too. Things were going to be difficult enough for him without having to worry about someone he didn’t even know’s kid. 

“He’s apparently had a really rough go of things, Isak. He could really use a friend,” his dad had told him. “Please, if you can’t do this for the poor kid’s sake, could you at least do it for me?”

Isak hadn’t bothered telling his dad what he thought about doing something for a father that hardly ever did the things he was supposed to do for his own family. He’d learned by now that it’d only make things worse. 

Instead, he grunted an, “I’ll try,” and stalked off to his room before his dad could ask him for anymore favors. 

As if sensing his skepticism, Mr. Valtersen invited the Bech Naesheim’s and their foster son over for dinner with their family, trying to prove to Isak that the kid wasn’t so bad. 

“Stop moping-- what else had you planned on doing today? Holing up in your room playing video games? Watching Netflix for hours on end? A short dinner with my friends won’t kill you Isak, please.”

His father’s pointing out of his lack of a life hadn’t made his enthusiasm any less non-existent but, Isak forced a smile and nodded anyways. It wasn’t worth the effort to fight him on this. 

When  the family showed up, however, his mood turned a 180 as Isak laid eyes on the boy. Tall and lean, dark blonde hair styled into a perfect quiff, pale skin dotted with moles, and bright blue eyes, clear as ice. Despite his slumping shoulders and guarded expression, the boy was the most beautiful human Isak had ever seen in his life. 

“Halla!” Mrs. Bech Naesheim said as Mr. Valtersen let them into the house. She was a short, plump women with vibrant red hair and rosy cheeks, a friendly energy radiating from her wide smile. “Thank you so much for having us! We really appreciate it, so much.” 

“Yes, we do,” Mr. Bech Naesheim agreed. “It’s so nice to finally meet the rest of your family, Terje-- and for this one to meet one of his new schoolmates.” He placed a tentative hand on the boy’s forearm, failing to elicit a response.

“Speaking of,” Mr. Valtersen said, gesturing to where Isak, his mother, and his younger sister Lea stood behind him in the foyer. “Let me introduce you to the rest of the family.”

“I’m Marianne,” Isak’s mother stepped forward to shake all of the Bech Naesheim’s hands. “So glad you could join us-- I hope the meal isn’t too disappointing tonight,” she continued, earning a chuckle from the family. “These are our children-- Isak, the oldest. He’s the one that is starting his first year at Nissen. And this is Lea, our little girl.” 

Lea rolled her eyes at this. “I’m twelve mom, that’s not little.” 

Again, the Bech Naesheim’s laughed, Mr. and Mrs. Bech Naesheim’s stepping forward to shake their hands. 

“Would you care to introduce yourself?” Mr. Bech Naesheim said, his words directed at the beautiful boy beside him. He hadn’t moved an inch since entering the house. 

The boy nodded, though his reluctance was evident, shaking hands with first Isak’s mother and father, then his sister, and finally, Isak. As he shook Isak’s hand, the boy’s piercing blue eyes bore into his, his hand lingering in Isak’s longer than the rest of his family. 

“Even,” he said curtly. Isak hated himself for the way his stomach flipped at the boy’s deep, rough voice. 

The rest of the evening Isak kept catching himself staring at Even from where he sat at the table, silently picking at the meal his mother had worked herself into an anxious frenzy over. 

Despite the boy’s obvious disdain for the entire affair (Isak couldn’t exactly blame him, considering his own reluctance), Isak found him utterly fascinating. From his tattered jean jacket covered in random patches with allusions Isak couldn’t decipher, this full lips never moving and in a constant frown, to the way his gaze darted about the room every time he bothered to lift his head-- everything about Even drew Isak in.

Isak found himself wanting to know the boy, whether for the mystery or the beauty he possessed, Isak wasn’t sure. But, he was glad to have an excuse to enter Even’s world, even if the prospect hadn’t seemed so enticing before. 

 

He didn’t say anything to him that night, despite how much he longed to hear his deep voice again. He didn’t feel that his conversation would be welcomed at that time. But, when Isak saw the boy sulking in the hallways in Nissen the Wednesday of their first week of school, he didn’t hesitate to approach him. 

Before Isak could even get a word out, the boy interrupted him with an icy glare.

“I know what you’re doing, and I don’t want your pity,” he hissed. “I’m not a charity case and I don’t need some kid befriending me just because his daddy asked him to, ok? So, just, leave me alone.”

Isak found himself unable to speak, utterly shocked by Even’s harsh words. So he simply nodded, averting his gaze to his feet. 

“Good,” Even breathed. “See you around, I guess.”

Isak eyes followed him as the boy stalked down the hall, disappearing around a corner. 

“Who was that?” Jonas asked, interrupting Isak’s thoughts as he approached. 

Isak shook his head, trying to rein himself back in. 

“No one. Kid of my dad’s friend.”

Jonas gave a noise of acknowledgement before grabbing Isak’s arm and dragging him in the opposite way of the hall. 

“C’mon, we’re going to be late for Norwegian.” 

Isak nodded and walked with his best friend, trying desperately to keep thoughts of Even from his mind. But, no matter how hard he tried, Even’s clear, blue glare kept finding its way to the front of his thoughts. 

What had happened to that boy that caused him to be so distant, so angry? And why couldn’t Isak just let it be?

 

__________

It was three weeks into the term when Isak tried speaking to Even again. 

It was at a house party that Jonas had dragged him to, along with two guys that he had apparently befriend over the course of their time at Nissen so far. Isak didn’t know whose house it was-- he’d been to enough parties by now to know that it didn’t really matter-- but, there were a lot of people he recognized. His best friend’s girlfriend--Eva--and her new group of friends, Elias-- the asshat that he was forced to deal with in order to keep smoking weed with Jonas-- and a few other kids from his class. 

He’d been searching the crowd of sweaty, inebriated teenagers for someone to talk to-- his friends had ditched him in conquest for some poor girls to hook up with and, quite frankly, that wasn’t something he was even remotely interested in. 

Though that wasn’t something he was ready to admit yet. Maybe not ever.

 

Isak’s breath hitched when he spotted him: Even. 

He was sitting in the back corner of the living room, alone, nursing a beer and looking absolutely miserable. Isak wanted desperately to go up to him, to ask him what was wrong and why he was at the party when he was so apparently sullen. But, his words from weeks previous kept him from doing so. 

At least, not until Isak had got himself very, very drunk. 

Approximately four cans of beer, three shots of vodka, and a sip of some awful mixed drink Eva had forced on him, (And maybe he took a few hits off a joint? He wasn’t sure.)  Isak was clumsily making his way across the house to where Even stood in the kitchen downing the rest of his beer. 

“What the fuck is your problem?”

Even raised his eyebrows in surprise, setting down his now empty can. 

“Excuse me?”

“I said,” Isak slurred. “What. The fuck. Is your problem?” He swayed slightly, gripping the counter between them for support before continuing. “I know you probably think my dad is forcing me to be your friend, and yeah he told me that I should but, I don’t do any of the shit he wants me to do unless I wanna. He’s a piece of shit. But, that’s beside the point.”

Isak grabbed someone’s abandoned cup of something a watery red and downed it, not caring about what disease he may catch, crushing it in his hands and staring Even down as he did. The older boy looked like he was both amused and shocked at once, though trying very hard to hide it.

“I just thought you seemed… more interesting than I expected. So, I wanted to know you. And then you didn’t even… you didn’t even,” Isak paused, shoving down the sudden wave of nausea that he felt. “You didn’t even let me try. So what the fuck is your motherfucking problem?” 

Even just stood there silently for a moment, contemplating Isak with furrowed brows and a slight frown. Isak let him have his time, frankly too drunk to expend any more energy berating him. 

After what felt like forever, Even looked down and took a deep breath before training his gaze back on Isak. 

“Join me outside?” 

Isak stared at him blankly, not having expected this response. He nodded anyway and followed the tall boy out to the backyard. 

They walked a ways out before finally stopping at the edge of the yard, far enough away from the house that the ear-numbingly loud music was now just a faint thumping in the background. Even slid down onto the grass, his back against the wooden fence, and looked up at Isak expectantly until he did the same. Isak couldn’t help but note how long Even’s legs were as they sprawled out in front of him. 

The tall boy pulled out a joint from behind his ear-- something Isak hadn’t noticed until that moment--and brought it between his lips. He retrieved a bright pink lighter from his jacket pocket and cupped his hand around it as he lit the joint, passing it to Isak as he exhaled his first hit. Isak took it silently, careful not to touch Even’s fingers as he did so. 

They’d passed the joint between them a few time before Even finally spoke, his voice soft and low, cutting through the night air regardless. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Not to sound even more like a charity case but, after being placed in seven different homes in seven years, it’s hard to let anyone in. You don’t want to take the chance getting close to someone just to have to leave them a few months later. And you especially don’t want to close to someone who pities you.” 

The conversation was more sobering than any amount of food or water. Isak nodded but, didn’t say anything. He figured that saying he was sorry to someone like Even wasn’t the right move. He took another drag from the joint before finally deciding to say something. 

“I know I can’t completely understand,” he started, handing Even what little remained of the joint. “But, I get that letting people into your personal sphere can be… difficult, if you don’t know that you can trust them not to abandon you or you think their intentions are real.” 

Even turned his head, looking at Isak for the first time during their conversation thus far. His eyebrows were drawn together, his eyes searching Isak’s for an answer to something Isak didn’t know. 

“Do you have any other facial expressions beside frowning?” Isak blurted out before he could stop himself. 

He cringed as soon as the words left his mouth, sure that he had ruined things between them. To his surprise, however, Even laughed, leaning his head back against the fence as he did so. The boy put out the softly burning joint in the grass and turned back to Isak, a soft smile on his lips. It made Isak’s heart beat double time, a tingly feeling stirring in his stomach that he’d never felt before. 

“Sometimes,” Even murmured, smile still on his face. “For the right people.” 

Isak had left the party shortly after, not getting any contact information from Even or promise of friendship or any sort of future interaction really. He hadn’t thought to, and even if he had, he probably would have been too afraid to push Even even further out of his comfort zone. 

 

When Monday came around, Even plopped himself down across from Isak in the cafeteria, wordlessly digging into his food. Isak tried not to show his surprise, only acknowledging Even’s presence with a nod. As Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi joined them, they all turned to Isak with questioning looks, sitting down despite the confusion.

When Magnus opened his mouth Isak jumped in, not wanting him to say something obliviously offensive-- an unfortunate characteristic that seemed to be a major part of his personality.

“Guys, this Even. He’s new to Oslo, met him at the party on Saturday,” he said, nodding in Even’s direction. “He’s cool,” he added, feeling the need to give the boys more of an impression of Even than just the new kid. 

Even nodded, a small smile on his face, and stuck out his hand to shake each of the boy’s hands. 

“Nice to meet you. I’m Isak’s right hand man,” Jonas said, wrapping his arm around Isak’s shoulders playfully. “Jonas.”

“And I’m Mahdi. This loser is Magnus,” Mahdi leaned forward, covering the side of his mouth closest to Magnus with his hand. “Ignore anything stupid or offensive he says. He doesn’t mean it, he’s just an idiot.”

“Hey!” Magnus shouted, spreading out his arms in question. “What is this, rag on Magnus day? I’m not that bad.” 

Isak laughed. “Magnus, every day is rag on Magnus day because you  _ are _ that bad.” 

The rest of the lunch was spent with their normal banter and storytelling with Even sitting there quietly, smiling and laughing every now and then, and his eyes consistently flitting towards Isak. 

Isak pretended not to notice for the most part but, Even had caught him staring back once or twice. The electricity the eye contact sent through Isak’s body made him catch his breath each time. 

 

__________

 

Isak had sort of hoped that the more he got to know Even and the less of a mystery he would become, the infatuation he felt for him would fade, that it would turn out to have been just a heightened curiosity rather than romantic interest. He wasn’t ready for those suspicions to be confirmed, not yet. 

But, the more he did get to know Even, the more he found his thoughts centered around his perfectly symmetrical face, his rich voice, his beautiful laugh, and those trademark blue eyes. 

He tried to convince himself that he just really liked being his friend, wanted to get closer to him in a totally platonic way. It wasn’t like Even had become his best friend or anything-- their contact had been pretty much limited to lunch during the week and occasional small talk at Isak’s locker before classes. It made total sense that his slight obsession (not that he’d call it that, really… at least not outloud) with the boy was just out of an interest in a deeper friendship… 

Right?

Isak’d been pretty set in this explanation for all the feelings the older boy had stirred inside him. That is, until around seven weeks into the term when Isak arrived to school to find Even waiting for him at his locker, casually leaned against it, looking as perfect as ever. 

“Hey,” Isak greeted him as he got closer. “What’s up?” 

“We should hangout,” Even said, foregoing cordialities and getting straight to the point. “Like, outside of school. Today maybe?” 

Isak stared at him, taken aback. This was the first time either of them had acknowledged they actually had a friendship, let alone a desire to further it outside of school. He turned his gaze to his locker, busying himself with trying to get the damn thing open as he figured out how to respond. 

“Ah.. sure? Why not?” he stammered, hoping his nervousness wasn’t betrayed in his voice. His struggle to get his locker open was definitely not helping that matter. “What did you have in mind?” 

“Emelie and Jeppe-- my foster parents--are going out of town for the weekend. A wedding or whatever. We could go to mine after school, watch a film or something?” 

Isak turned to look at Even, checking to see that the older boy was being serious. Despite the past few weeks of getting to know him, Isak had a difficult time getting a read on the boy. He wouldn’t put it past him to try and pick on him this way. 

But, when he looked into the boy’s eyes all he saw was earnest sincerity and Isak found that he just couldn’t say no to him. 

“Alright,” he said, giving up his fight with his locker for the moment. “I’ll meet you at the gate after school then? I finish at 15:30.”

“Cool,” Even answered, the corner of his lips twitching as he suppressed a smile. “I finish at 14:50. I’ll wait for you.”

With that, Even brushed past Isak down the hall, banging his fist against his locker, flinging it open as he did before he left. 

Isak couldn’t help but stare as the tall boy walked off, finding it hard to believe the interaction had happened at all. 

 

__________

 

“Even, what the fuck? That was sad as shit.” 

Isak wiped furiously at his now tear streaked face, his cheeks flushed and lashes wet. Even sat beside him on the couch in his bedroom, closing the laptop they’d been watching the movie on. 

“I knew that you would cry,” he said proudly. “Everyone does. Romeo + Juliet is a fucking masterpiece of visual excellence and provocative emotion.” 

“I don’t give a shit,” Isak grumbled. “I didn’t agree to hang out with you to have my fucking heart ripped out.” 

This elicited another laugh from Even, his smile so wide that his eyes disappeared behind his cheeks. Normally, Isak wouldn’t so readily admit to crying because of a fucking movie. But, the joy that it brought out in Even made the vulnerability totally worth it. 

“Is this like, a kink of yours? Do you get off to the emotional suffering of others? 

“Ah yes,” Even smirked, waggling his brows at Isak. “Nothing like some good ol’ schadenfreude to get my dick hard.” 

Isak promptly grabbed the pillow from under his arms and swung it right into Even’s face, trying to hide his smile as Even burst into laughter, batting away Isak’s second attempt to punish him with the pillow. 

“No, but honestly,” Even continued. “I just love epic love stories and a love story can’t be epic if it doesn’t end in tragedy.” 

“That’s dark,” Isak frowned.

Even shrugged, lifting himself up from the couch and heading towards the door. 

“I’m gonna make something to eat-- you want something?”

“What’d you have in mind?” he asked. 

“Well,” Even started as he lead them into the kitchen. “I do make a mean cheese toastie.”

“Is that so?” Isak smirked. 

Even grinned in lieu of an answer, opening the fridge and pulling out a block of cheese, setting it on the counter. He grabbed two plates and loaf of rye bread next, taking out two slices and cutting off some cheese to place on top of them. 

“That’s some sweaty cheese considering you just took it out of the fridge,” Isak teased. 

“Yeah, Emelie has a tendency to forget to put it back in the morning. She probably just remembered to put it away before she and Jeppe left for the wedding.” 

“They’re ok with you using their first names?” Isak asked. He knew that if he did that with his own parents they’d have a conniption. At least, his dad would. 

“I mean, they’re not my parents so, I’m not gonna call them mama and papa” Even said, a slight bitterness in his tone. “Luckily, they’re cooler than some of the other foster parents I’ve had and don’t force me to use Mr. and Mrs. or sir and ma’am.” 

Isak frowned. He wanted to ask more questions, ask Even if it was weird to have these two strangers taking care of you and setting rules without them being your actual parents but, he knew that Even was already opening up more than he would normally, so he didn’t want to push it. He was so grateful for what Even had already given him that he didn’t want to do anything that would drive him away again. 

“Alright,” Even said, clapping his hands together. “Time for spices. How does…” Even paused, squinting at the label on a spice grinder he’d pulled from the overhead cabinet. “Caribbean jerk barbeque sound?” 

Isak shrugged, a smile tugging at his lips. “Sure?”

“Rosemary?”

“Sounds perfect.”

“Chili?”

“Chili? Always chili.” 

A few minutes later they were seated on Even’s bedroom floor, eating what Isak was sure were the worst cheese toasties he’d ever had in his life. 

“These are fucking awful, Even.” 

“Hey,” Even laughed. “You’re the one that wanted all the spices.” 

“It’s because we didn’t use any cardamom,” Isak said. “Cardamom is essential for a good cheese toastie.”

Even smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind next time.”

 

They spent the rest of the night talking about superficial things-- music, favorite movies and TV shows, that one weird teacher that didn’t wear a bra and didn’t bother to wear shirts that concealed her nipples. It was the most fun Isak had had in a long time. 

So much of his time lately seemed to be going to parties he didn’t care about, listening to the guys drone on and on about their sexual exploits, going to school, and avoiding his family. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to do things he actually enjoyed doing. 

Isak ended up heading home around 22:30, realizing that he’d probably be getting a concerned and demanding phone call from his parents soon if he didn’t. 

It was reluctant though. He wished he could stay forever. He didn’t think he’d ever tire of hearing Even’s voice, his laugh, watching him gesticulate wildly about the things he was passionate about, that big Even smile that made the skin around his eyes crinkle. He wanted to experience it everyday of his life. 

The thought scared him. It was so much, so soon, so he thought that maybe leaving sooner rather than later was probably for the best. He was sure if he stayed too long he would do something stupid. 

“We should do this again,” Even said as he waited with Isak at the tram stop. “I had a lot of fun.”

“Me too,” Isak smiled. “Even if you did make me watch that sad ass movie and try to poison me with your shitty cheese toasties.” 

Before Even could retort, the tram pulled up, signalling Isak’s departure. 

“Here,” Even said, handing Isak his phone. “Put in your number-- I’ll text you.” 

Isak silently did as he asked, getting on the tram with a wave and a smile over his shoulder. He watched through the window how Even stayed, watching, as the tram drove further and further away from his apartment building. Isak didn’t see him move, didn’t see him turn his head for a second, until he was too far away to make out. 

When Isak finally got home, he collapsed against his bed, staring up at the ceiling with his body spread eagle across his mattress. 

He was so fucked. 

 

__________

 

The next few weeks were filled with nothing but Even, Even, Even. 

They were constantly texting, sharing memes and funny stories from their day. They met at Isak’s locker every morning-- which consisted mostly of Even making fun of Isak for his constant battle to get the thing to open. And more often than not, at lunch the two of them seemed to pair off away from the other boys’ discussion, talking about things far more interesting than girls with cat tongues or lacking a clitorus. 

“Hey, are you going to the party Vilde and the girls are throwing at Noora’s place this Friday?” Jonas asked them one day at lunch. “Eva really wants me to go but, it’s got like a theme and shit and like… I don’t know man. It’s Vilde.”

“What do you mean?” Magnus asked, his expression completely dumbfounded. “Vilde’s hot-- I’d bang her in a heartbeat.” 

“A little misogynistic don’t you think?” Even interjected. “Reducing her down to just someone to have sex with?” 

Even did this every now and then, casually letting people know when they were being problematic or discriminatory. Isak kinda loved it. He not only admired his bravery-- he didn’t think he could find the courage to say such things-- but, he found himself learning things that he probably should have known in the first place. 

“What?” Magnus said incredulously. “No! I mean, yeah, sex with her would be awesome. But, she’s also like, a cool chick, you know?” 

“Maybe use the latter part then when you try and seduce her,” Even suggested, smirking as he raised his water bottle to his lips. Magnus nodded, furrowing his brows as if seriously taking this into consideration. 

“I wouldn’t mind going to the party,” Even continued, returning to the original conversation. “Maybe a theme could be fun.”

Isak raised a brow at this. Even hardly ever wanted to go to parties, didn’t even want to just pregame with the guys. Even saw his questioning look but, just ignored it, leaving Isak to wonder instead. 

“Guys?” Jonas asked, turning to the rest of them at the table. 

“I guess,” Mahdi sighed. “I mean, why turn down free booze and food, right?”

“I’ll go. Maybe I’ll score with Vilde,” Magnus agreed, waggling his brows. 

“In your dreams,” Isak joked. “Yeah, let’s do it,” he said, turning back to Jonas.

The bell for lunch rang then, the boys gathering their things and standing up in response. As Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi walked towards the cafeteria exit, Even grabbed Isak’s arm, holding him back from the others. 

“Hey,” he said. “Would you maybe like to pregame at mine before the party? Emilie and Jeppe should be out Friday night so, we wouldn’t be bothered.” 

Isak blinked his eyes several times, caught off guard by the question. He didn’t know why the prospect of pre-gaming with Even alone was throwing him off like this-- he and Even had hung out alone plenty of times. Maybe it was because he hadn’t asked the rest of the guys, maybe it was because of the earnest look in Even’s eyes but, Isak got the feeling that this would be more than a friendly hangout. The prospect was both terrifying and thrilling. 

“Yeah,” Isak answered, mentally chastising himself for the crack in his voice. “That sounds… awesome. What time?” 

“Maybe… 19:00?” Even suggested. 

Isak nodded, a smile creeping onto his face. “I’ll be there.” 

 

__________

 

“Have you heard of Nas?” 

“Yeah, of course. I’ve definitely heard of them.” 

Even smirked. “Nas is a he, as in a singular person.” 

Isak blushed and averted his gaze. Even laughed. 

“We’re listening to his album Illimatic now-- aka, the best album of all time.” 

Isak grinned, taking a sip of his beer, looking at Even over the end of his can. 

“I’ll be the judge of that.” 

Even sat down beside him on the floor, inside Even’s room just in case his foster parents came back home from their date early. 

Isak let his eyes trail over the older boy, taking in the sight of him. He was wearing a thin, white v-neck shirt that hugged his lean body tightly, dark jeans that he rolled at the ankles (how there was a pair of pants that were too long for Even’s ridiculous legs, Isak had no idea), and a yellow neon bandana around his forehead. The party’s theme was neon rave and Even definitely looked the part. All Isak had done was hang a couple glow stick necklaces around his neck. He knew he didn’t look nearly as cool as Even did-- but, then again, nobody looked as cool as Even, ever. 

At least, not to Isak anyway. 

“You’re going all out with this theme, huh?” Isak asked, amused. 

“Oh, I’m not even done yet,” Even said. “I have some neon face paint in the bathroom that I’m definitely making you wear with me.” 

Isak groaned, making a big show of rolling back his head and covering his face with his hand. 

“Please don’t,” he begged. “I already feel ridiculous with these glow stick things.”

Even pouted, widening his blue eyes and sticking out his full lower lip in a way that Isak couldn’t help but stare at. He wondered if those lips would feel as soft as they looked. 

Isak shook the thought from his head, blaming it on the three beers he’d had already. 

As Even crawled closer to Isak on his knees, his hands folded below his chin and his exaggerated sad face only exaggerating further, Isak sighed, rolling his eyes and fighting the smile trying to force its way onto his face. He failed miserably. 

“Fine,” he groaned, shoving Even back with his hand against his chest. The fabric of his shirt was so thin Isak swore he could feel his skin. “I guess I’ll do it, for you.” 

Even smiled, a soft smile that only brightened his already sparkling eyes. 

“That’s all I ask.”

 

Isak was surprised at how packed the party was by the time he and Even arrived. It was only 20:30 and there was already a shit ton of teenagers dancing drunkenly to loud house music, decked out in obnoxious florescent colors and holding at least one drink in their hands. 

“Halla!” Eva greeted him, throwing her arms around Isak’s neck. “I’m so glad you came! Who’s your friend?” 

Isak chuckled at his friend who was clearly sloshed. He wrapped his arms around her waist to support her weight as she leaned further into him, turning his head to look at Even. 

“This is Even-- he’s a third year, friends with Jonas and I,” he explained. “Even, this is Eva-- Jonas’s girlfriend.”

Even stook out his hand, smiling warmly. Isak couldn’t help but compare the encounter to the first time he’d met Even, the scowl on his face as he’d reluctantly shook hands with his family. He was so glad he’d gotten the chance to see this side of him. 

“Nice to meet you,” Even shouted over the music. “Jonas talks about you all the time.”

“He’s never mentioned you,” Eva shouted back. “But, maybe that’s because you’re so hot,” she giggled, detaching herself from Isak and placing a hand of Even’s chest. Isak hated the bit of jealousy that flared in his stomach.

“C’mon Even,” Isak said, removing Eva’s hand and grabbing hold of Even’s wrist before he could think better of it. “Let’s find so goddamn alcohol.”

Even laughed. “Hell yeah.” 

 

They’d barely been at the party thirty minutes and Isak was already drunk. He’d gotten separated from Even as Eva introduced him to everyone she could at the party. The jealousy he’d felt earlier from Eva’s hand on Even’s chest continued to broil as he watched girl after girl look him up and down before batting their lashes at him with obvious interest. He’d hoped that the alcohol would tame the green beast roaring inside him but, it seemed to only make things worse. 

Some girl was chattering away beside him-- her name was Elle or Emily or something like that. Objectively she was cute-- Natalie Portman esque hair, slim, pretty brown doe eyes. But, right then, she was the least interesting thing in the world. While she babbled about how hard it was to be a girl, attempting to grab his hand to feel her bra (what the fuck), all Isak could do was follow Even with his eyes. 

Isak must have gotten distracted by his jealous thoughts long enough for Even to disappear from his sight momentarily, because suddenly he felt weight on the other side of him on the couch and a long arm being thrown around his shoulder. Isak turned to see Even smiling at him dopely, his eyes glassy and his face mere inches from his own. 

“What time is it?” he asked, his breath tickling Isak’s ear as he leaned in closer for him to hear. 

“Um,” Isak stammered, pulling out his phone from his pocket. “21:21. We’ve barely been here an hour. Why?” 

“You wanna get out of here?” Even asked, leaning in even closer. It was a wonder that there noses hadn’t touched yet. 

“And go where?” Isak breathed, his voice soft and wavering. 

“I can think of a place,” Even chuckled. “Let’s go.” 

With that, Even grabbed a hold of Isak’s hand, intertwining their fingers and sending butterflies to Isak’s stomach, pulling them towards the door and out the apartment before they could say goodbye. 

Even’s giddiness was infectious and Isak could feel the excitement building inside him as they raced toward Even’s bike that they’d taken to the party. Even wordlessly gestured for Isak to hop on the seat behind him as he mounted the bike. Isak didn’t hesitate to do so. 

“Where are we going?” Isak asked as they started down the street, going the opposite direction that they would to return to Even’s apartment. 

“It’s a surprise,” Even said, throwing a mischievous grin over his shoulder. 

Isak didn’t question it-- he’d gotten used to Even’s shenanigans by then. He knew that there was no amount of pestering or threatening that could get him to budge. So, he simply accepted his fate and let Even guide them to whatever adventure he had in store for them that night. 

 

__________

 

“What is this place, Even?” 

Even stood perched over his bike, one foot on the pavement and the other on the pedal, staring at the run-down playground before them. 

As they had gotten closer to their destination, Isak had noticed Even’s enthusiasm and playfulness slowly fading. Now that they had reached the place, a playground, Isak began to worry that maybe there was more to this adventure than he thought. But, he stood beside him, waiting patiently on the pavement, giving Even all the time he needed to explain. 

“My parents used to bring me here when I was little,” he finally answered, his voice a hoarse whisper. “It was a lot better kempt back then. It was my favorite place to go after school, on the weekends. Just being with them, just the three of us, together.” 

He started walking towards the swingset before Isak could respond, forcing him to jog in order to keep up with Even’s long legs. Even sat down in the swing closest to the middle and Isak sat beside him. 

“Let’s see who can swing the highest the fastest, yeah?” Even challenged some of the playfulness from before returning to his eyes.

Isak smiled. “Ok, you’re on.” 

Even shuffled backwards and pushed off with a whoop and Isak followed suit. They kicked their legs forward and backwards, trying to put as much force, as much speed behind their limbs as they could, straining their muscles, laughing and taunting each other as they raced towards the sky. 

“I did it!” Even crowed when it was clear that his swing couldn’t go any higher. “I’m the winner!” 

Isak pouted, kicking his legs harder to try and reach Even’s height. 

“Only because you’re a fucking giraffe.” 

Even ignored the jab, belting out a sloppy rendition of  _ We are the Champions _ by Queen. Isak couldn’t keep up his sore loser act for long, loud bursts of laughter erupting from his chest as Even grew louder and more impassioned with each note. 

“We are the champions of the…” as he said the words Even launched himself from the swing, soaring through the air towards the dying grass below, belting the last note. “WOOOOORRRRLLLLLDDD!”

When Even made contact with the ground, his feet hitting first and his body tumbling forward after them, Isak stopped breathing. He hurried to slow down his own swing, getting fed up and jumping himself when it was low enough that he was sure he wouldn’t break an arm. Back on the ground, Isak ran to where Even lay now on his back, knees bent, one arm lying on his stomach and the other outstretched beside him. 

“Are you alright?” Isak huffed, dropping to his knees and reaching out to turn Even’s face towards him. The boy looked dazed but, didn’t appear to be in any pain. 

“Were you worried about me, Isak?” he asked, a dreaminess to his voice. “Did I scare you?” 

Isak rolled his eyes and punched Even’s shoulder, not bothering to answer. He followed Even’s lead and fell onto his back in the grass, turning his head so he could look at the dreamy boy beside him. Even had turned his gaze back towards the sky, now dark enough to see a few stars breaking through the Oslo city light. 

“This is the last place we were all together,” Even breathed, eyes still pointed towards the stars. “The last place we were together as a family before it happened.” 

Isak’s brows came together and he hesitated to comment on the information. But, when it was clear that Even wasn’t going to say anything else, he decided to push forward. 

“Before what happened?” 

Even took in a big breath, holding it in his chest before blowing it all out through his mouth. Isak watched as the stray hairs that had fallen over his bandana scattered with the force of the air. 

“Before the accident. Before drunk Uncle Aleks killed them both, my Aunt Line too, in his car,” Even eyes glistened, shiny in the moonlight. “I was at a friend’s house, for his tenth birthday. I didn’t even find out about it until the next day when no one showed up to get me.”

Isak wished he could stop the tears that were welling up in the older boy’s eyes, stop the tremors running through his body. He knew that words weren’t Even’s thing, that an “I’m sorry for your loss” would only be read as pity in his eyes. So instead, Isak reached over and took Even’s hand in his, lacing their fingers and giving a firm squeeze, letting him know he was there. Even’s head jerked in Isak’s direction at the contact, his eyes wide in wonder. 

“That day was the worst day of my life,” Even whispered. “And it seems that since that day, things only ever get worse.” He gulped, a shudder going through his body. “Seven homes in seven years, all of them deciding they didn’t want me for one reason or another… I was too damaged by my grief, they couldn’t afford another kid, I made my foster siblings scared, I wasn’t doing well in school, I ‘seduced’ my foster-brother into raping me, they didn’t want a kid who was queer, they didn’t want a kid with bipolar, didn’t want a kid who was fucked in the head.” 

Even’s whole body was shaking with the sobs he was holding back and Isak couldn’t take. He lunged forward and wrapped his body around Even’s, holding him tight against him and pulling his head forward so their foreheads rested against each other. He couldn’t stop himself this time from saying it. 

“I’m sorry, Even.” 

Even choked out what sounded like half sob, half laugh. He blinked his eyes furiously, trying to squeeze out the last of the tears so he could see Isak clearly. Isak sucked in a breath as Even opened them and stared at him with such an intensity he could feel it. 

“I’ve felt like nothing good was ever going to happen to me again, for the longest time. I’ve been so sure that that day had cursed me. Coming back here, back to Oslo after all this time, I was sure that the worst of it all was coming,” Even turned on his side, tangling his limbs with Isak’s and bringing his hand to his face. “And then I met you. You changed everything.” 

Isak’s breath hitched and his heart was beating so fast that he swore it was about to rip through his chest. The thudding only grew faster, louder, as Even moved his face closer to his, moving so slowly it hurt. He paused when he was close enough that there lips were just a brush away from touching, his breath mixing with Isak’s. 

“You’re the best thing that’s come into my life since I was ten years old, Isak,” Even breathed. “I haven’t felt this hopeful in so long that I hardly even recognized the feeling.” 

Isak couldn’t wait any longer. He surged forward, crashing their lips together so forcefully that it hurt. But, he didn’t care. All he wanted to do was show Even that he was right to feel hopeful about this, to show Even that if he let him, Isak would kiss all the hurt and the heartache he’d experienced away. He’d do the best that he could to help him heal, no matter what it took or how long it would take.

It took him a moment to respond, Even’s lips still under Isak’s but, Isak just kept moving his lips against his until Even kissed back. He pressed his lips closer to Isak’s soft at first but, as the lay there longer, gripping each other desperately in the grass, Even opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. 

Isak felt warmth flood his body as Even’s tongue slipped into his mouth, like warm lava was flowing through his veins.  Isak moved his tongue against Even’s, drawing out a gasp and causing him to slip his hands into the hair at the nape of Isak’s neck, tugging at the strands to pull him closer. 

It felt like an eternity had passed before they broke apart, and even then Isak felt like he hadn’t gotten enough. They stared at each other, breathless, hands still gripping each other’s clothes and hair tightly in an attempt to draw them as close together as possible. 

“I’ve never felt anything quite like this,” Isak breathed out, hooded eyes locked on the luscious blue before him. “Ever.” 

Even let out a breathy laugh in disbelief, tilting his head to steal a few sweet kisses from Isak’s lips. 

“Neither have I.” 

 

__________

 

At some point they made their way back to Even’s apartment, scurrying to Even’s room before they could be noticed. As soon as they had the door closed behind them they were pressing kisses to each other’s mouths, cheeks, jaws, necks--kissing each other until their lips were shiny and bruised and they were too tired to do anything but fall into Even’s bed, wrapped around each other. 

“Thank you,” Isak murmured into Even’s neck. 

“Mmm,” Even hummed, his eyes mostly shut. “What for?” 

“For telling me about all that’s happened to you,” he replied. “And for having the courage that I didn’t, to tell me how you feel about me.” 

Even brought his hand to Isak’s chin, tilting his head up for a chaste kiss. “You’re welcome.” 

“Even?” 

“Mm?” 

“My mom has schizophrenia,” Isak said, forcing the words out before he could change his mind.

Even nodded. “How is she?” 

“Not well,” Isak whispered. “I keep trying to get papa to take her to the hospital… she has these episodes where all she does is scream about god and sin and the hallucinations that are out to get her.” 

“I’m sorry,” Even murmured. 

“I just wanted you to know,” Isak explained. “Because you shared so much with me tonight and I want you to know that I trust you with my stuff too.” 

Even pressed a kiss to his forehead, holding his mouth there long enough for Isak to feel his lips turning up into a smile. When the older boy spoke it was barely audible. 

“Thank you.”

It was 3:30 when sleep finally found them, bringing their weary eyes to a close and drawing them closer against each other under the blankets.  

Isak had never slept so peacefully in his entire life. 

 

__________

 

The months following that night were pure bliss. Isak hadn’t known that he could feel so happy, that he could care so much about another human. But, Even proved to him every single day how real and fantastic life could be. 

They didn’t tell anyone about what was going on them. Isak wasn’t ready for that. They didn’t hold hands or kiss in the hallways, didn’t go on dates where anyone could see them, didn’t change their relationship statuses on Facebook. 

But, that didn’t stop them from spending every moment possible wrapped up in each other at Even’s or Isak’s, didn’t stop Even from pulling Isak into the bathroom between classes when no one was looking and kissing him senseless, didn’t stop them from feeling like they had discovered the universe in each other. 

 

The day after the term ended Even was more excited, more joyful than Isak had ever seen him before. He’d showed up the window to Isak’s bedroom at 7:30 in the morning, tapping lightly on the glass until he stirred awake. A month ago, this would have sent Isak flying from his bed in surprise. But, he was used to Even’s shenanigans by now and when he finally fluttered his eyes awake, all he could do was smile at the sweet boy grinning outside his window. Even looked absolutely angelic with snowflakes in his hair and his lashes, his cheeks flushed from the cold, and his eyes disappearing behind that beautiful, big, Even smile. 

Isak opened his window and before he could get out a greeting, Even had his face in his hands, smothering him in cold kisses. Isak was absolutely freezing, the winter air whipping against his bare chest-- he really should have put a shirt on before opening the window. But, Even’s mouth was so sweet, so loving, that Isak couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Well, at least not for a little while. 

“Ok, Even,” Isak said, trying to pull away to no avail. “Even, seriously, we need to stop before we freeze our asses off.” 

Even just continued to ignored him, kissing Isak’s jaw and ear and neck. Finally Isak gave him a hard shove and grabbed his arms to pull him inside the room before Even could try and subdue him with his warm mouth.

Once he’d manage to pull Even inside, gangly legs and all, Isak hastily shut the window and reached for a shirt off the floor. Even slapped his hand away however, shucking off his shoes and winter attired as he continued to press his mouth all over Isak’s body, wherever his lips could reach. 

“What has gotten into you?” Isak laughed. He was cut short however by Even’s hot tongue on the base of his neck, drawing out a low moan from Isak’s lips. “Fuck, Even.” 

“I want you so bad, baby,” Even moaned, removing his hands from Isak’s hips to start unbuttoning his jeans. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about touching you, feeling you.” 

Isak groaned, helping Even out of his clothes until he matched Isak, wearing just his boxers. He grabbed the older boy’s hips and started guiding him towards his bed, crawling on top of him as Even’s back hit the mattress. Though he didn’t hold the position for long before Even flipped them over, grabbing Isak’s wrists and pinning them above his head. Isak squirmed under his grip, though it was only for show. All Even had to do was bring himself a bit lower to feel how turned on Isak was by his taking charge. 

“Let me make you feel good, Isak,” Even breathed into his ear. “Let me take care of you, baby-- can I do that for you?”

Isak was so overwhelmed that all he could do was nod his consent. 

Even wasted no time in doing just as he said, pressing hot, wet kisses all over Isak’s face, pausing briefly to kiss and bite and suck his lips before moving towards his ear. Isak was a mess beneath him, so turned on by the tug of teeth on his lobe, the skin of his neck being sucked into Even’s warm mouth, his lips brushing along Isak’s collarbone and down his chest. 

“Even, you’re killing me.” 

Even grinned in response and moved his mouth to Isak’s nipple, circling his tongue across this erect, pink bud before sucking on it rhythmically, raking his teeth over it every now and again. Isak moaned as Even continued to the other nipple, biting his fist in attempt to muffle the sound. The last thing he wanted was to wake up his family with his sexual endeavors. 

“You’re so hot, Isak,” Even murmured, his lips moving over the skin of Isak’s stomach. “So beautiful… I could look at you like this forever.” 

Isak opened his mouth to respond but, found himself gasping instead as Even sucked on the skin on the inside of his hip and hooked his fingers into the waistband of Isak’s boxers. Cool air hit Isak’s bare thighs as Even pulled the fabric down his legs but, they were soon heated again by Even’s mouth. Isak whined as Even slowly spread his legs apart, his eyes widening at the strangled groan that left Even’s throat. 

“You’re going to be the death of me, Isak,” he murmured, his hot breath tickling Isak’s most intimate parts. “Can I taste you, baby? God, I want to taste you so badly.” 

Isak nodded. “Please.” 

He’d been expecting Even’s mouth to start on Isak’s dick--at this point so hard it was almost painful. 

Instead, he felt the filthiest of kisses against his rim, Even’s tongue lapping at the area. The moan that this ripped from Isak was, frankly, embarrassing. A part of Isak wanted to tell Even to stop, to tell him it was too dirty, made him feel too vulnerable. But, the rest of him was so turned on by the act Isak couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

“You taste so good, baby,” Even groaned. “So sweet.” 

It was then that Isak felt Even’s tongue slip inside him, causing him to arch his back and curl his toes in pleasure. 

“Keep doing that,” Isak gasped.

He could feel Even grin against him. 

“You like that, Isak?” He teased. “Do you like it when I eat your ass? Like my tongue inside you?” 

Isak’s cheeks warmed at the teasing but, he nodded frantically. In response, Even grabbed either side of Isak’s cheeks, burying his face and fucking his tongue deeper into Isak’s ass. Isak was moaning loudly, too far gone to care if his family could hear him. 

“Even, please,” he rasped. “I need you to touch me.”

Even wasted no time to fulfilling this request, wrapping his hand around his tip and giving it a slight squeeze. He ran his thumb over the top, spreading the precum that had collected there before slowly working Isak in his hand. It felt incredible, a pleasure that Isak had never felt before. 

With Even’s hand wrapped around him and his tongue rapidly fucking his ass, Isak was cumming within minutes, his vision going white and his body spasming as he shot hot, wet, white stripes onto his abdomen. 

When he had finally calmed down enough to move, Isak lifted himself onto his forearms to look at the beautiful boy still lying between his legs. He had his head lain against Isak’s thigh, looking at him with such admiration Isak found himself blushing under his gaze.

“Let me take care of you now,” Isak whispered, sitting up. “I want to make you cum, too.”

Even chuckled. “Ah… too late for that,” he murmured. “I couldn’t help rubbing myself off. You were too hot for me to resist.” 

Isak was so overwhelmed by the prospect of Even cumming barely touched, cumming from the pleasure of getting Isak off, that he found himself drawing the older boy’s face him, kissing him slow and sweet, reveling in the taste of himself on Even’s lips. 

“You’re amazing.”

“Mmm,” Even hummed. “Not as amazing as you.”

 

__________

 

The first two weeks of break were filled with moments like this-- Even being overcome with insatiable want, dedicating all his attention on pleasing Isak. Sometimes he’d have the younger boy cumming as many as four times in one session while he didn’t get off at all, perfectly content all the same. 

There were other moments like this, where Even wanted nothing more but to adore Isak. He’d show up at his door with flowers and chocolates, whisk him away for extravagant dates that were planned out to the most minute of details, write him pages upon pages of poetry, fill his sketchbook with portraits of Isak from every angle. 

It was overwhelming in the best of ways. 

Isak hadn’t thought anything of it, didn’t see that there might be something strange about the boy’s behavior. Even had proven to be very affectionate as they started this thing: he was always trying to take care of Isak and show him that he cared. Sure, it had never been this intense, had been more subtle but, Isak just assumed it was because they were on break and had more freedom for these grand gestures without the risk of getting caught. 

It wasn’t long before he discovered that this was far from the case. 

The day before Christmas Eve, Isak woke up to thirty-eight text messages, twelve missed calls, and a voicemail left by Even. There were three other missed calls and two voicemails from Even’s foster parents. 

Isak’s mind went on instant alert, panic slowly building from the pit of his stomach and outward to the rest of his body. 

He went through the messages first but, found he could barely make any sense of them. Most of the texts consisted of song lyrics and Even’s poetic adoration. There was no coherent train of thought or meaning to them. 

 

**_(22:30)_ ** **_Even:_ ** _ you know I think I’m falling for youlike I’mreally really falling likesosoHard youkno? _

 

**_(22:45)_ ** **_Even:_ ** _ I climb a mountain for you _ __  
_ I stay up here _ __  
_ I wait yes I wait for you _ __  
_ 'Til you believe in our love _ __  
_ Using up my oxygen _ __  
_ Can you breath for me? _ __  
_ Freezing air is getting thin _ _  
_ __ Still you believe in our love

 

**_(23:49)_ ** **_Even:_ ** _ youresoso good Isak so good youdont evenyoudonteven know  _

 

**_(1:38)_ ** **_Even:_ ** _ youreso good and imso badbad IsaK im sobadfor youu _

 

**_(1:50)_ ** **_Even:_ ** _ i can’t believe I can’t believe you want mewhydo youwant me??? _

 

**_(2:40) Even:_ ** _ Once again you wait, while I get my head on straight _ __  
_ Again I missed your call _ __  
_ And in the wake of this evening, I just can't shake this feeling _ __  
_ That I'm farther from you now _ __  
_ So my knees touch the floor, I feel something never felt before _ _  
_ __ My beliefs got in my way

 

The texts went on until 4:27 and that’s when the calls started coming in. The last had been at 6:46-- only a few hours before Isak had woken up. The first two voicemails were from Even’s foster parents, the last was from Even. 

Isak pressed play on the one from Even first, whatever he had to say more of a priority than the Bech Naesheim’s. Maybe that was the wrong way to go about things, maybe he should have listened to what the adults in the situation had to say about what was going on but, all Isak cared about right then was Even. 

_ “Isak. Isak, Isak, Isak. I don’t know how to tell you all that you mean to me. You’re beautiful you know? Inside, outside, all the sides, Isak. So gorgeous and sexy and talented and smart and just wow. They should make movies about you-- I should make movies about you. Imagine it Isak: you on the big screen where you belong, where everyone can see how incredible you are. I hope there are a million Isaks in a million universes. You believe in that right? Parallel universes? I hope they exist just so that you can exist in them all. A million Isaks… Infinite Isaks… Isak, Isak, Isak. I’m at--” _

The message cut off then, no other to continue what Even had been saying. Isak’s panic was so intense now he could hardly breathe. Even hadn’t sounded like himself, nothing like the boy that Isak knew. His voice was high and strained, talking so fast his words were slurred together. He sounded like he was on the verge of breaking. 

Isak hastily pressed play on the first message from the Bech Naesheim’s, praying to find some answers, hear them say that Even was ok. 

_ “Isak, Even’s been missing from the house for hours now and he won’t pick up his phone. Is he with you? Please call us back if you know anything.” _

Isak’s heart was thumping erratically in his chest and he pressed play on the next message before it could start going any faster. 

_ “Hello, Isak. We hope that we didn’t scare you too much with our last message. We found Even. Seems that he was having a manic episode… we should have been paying better attention to him. The police called us when they found him and he’s now staying in the hospital until further notice. He’s been asking for you but, we understand if you don’t feel ready to see him yet. Goodbye, Isak. We’ll be sure to update you if necessary.” _

Isak had barely registered what he was doing before he was flying from his bed and scrambling to pull on some clothes and his outerwear before sprinting out the house to the closest bus stop. His body was on autopilot, thrumming with adrenaline and anxiety. His mind didn’t check back in until he was walking through the hospital doors and approaching the receptionist sitting at the desk in the lobby. 

“I’m here to see Even…” 

Isak paused, realizing then that he didn’t actually know Even’s last name. This sent another wave of panic through his body. What else didn’t he know about the boy he was so smitten with? Would he be where they were now if he’d known more? Why hadn’t he been paying better attention? Why hadn’t he been trying harder?

“Umm..” Isak continued, feeling uncomfortable and a little dazed. “I don’t actually know his last name but, his foster parents are the Bech Naesheim’s?” 

“I can’t let you see anyone with only that information, sweetie,” the receptionist replied, her voice monotone and her eyes fixed on the computer screen in front of her. 

Isak opened his mouth, ready to start an argument, when a high, soft voice interrupted him before he could. 

“Isak,” he turned his head to see Mrs. Bech Naesheim, looking tired and disheveled despite the smile on her face. “I’m glad you came… come on, I’ll take you to his room.” 

Isak didn’t hesitate to follow her, struggling to match her pace with how much he wanted to just be with Even already. He needed to know that he was ok. He needed to know that he wasn’t too late, that they hadn’t been too late. What for, Isak didn’t know. His mind was wanting to drag him into every worst case scenario and the longer he was apart from his beautiful boy the more drastic his mental wanderings became. 

What if Even had hurt himself? What if he was broken and bloody? What if he had brain damage or was paralyzed? What if he’d be going to prison after he was let out of the hospital? What if, what if, what if, what if…

Entering the hospital room to see Even asleep on a cot, no physical damage to be seen, was both a huge relief and extremely disheartening. This wasn’t the Even that Isak knew, the Even that was so full of life and adventure once you pulled back those protective layers. This Even was completely unrecognizable to him with his greasy, matted hair, his thin body covered by a hospital gown, his skin sallow, his under eyes dark.

Isak wanted to cry of both happiness and pain at the same time. He was so happy to see his boy safe and unscathed but, it hurt him so much to see him like this. 

“Is he going to be ok?” Isak croaked. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes. 

“He will, eventually,” Mr. Bech Naesheim answered softly. “He’s going to stay in the hospital for another twenty four hours before we can take him home, though there’s no guarantee that he’ll be back to his normal self then either.” 

“Why does he have to be here?” Isak asked, his gaze still glued to the sleeping boy. “He doesn’t look like he hurt himself or anything.” 

“He’s under suicide watch,” Mr. Bech Naesheim murmured. “His last foster family gave him up because he tried to kill himself after a manic episode. We don’t want to take any chances of him attempting again.” 

Isak couldn’t help it this time, tears came spilling down his cheeks faster than he could even process this information. 

“Can I stay here with him?” Isak asked, turning to face Even’s foster parents for the first time. They both nodded. 

“As long as it’s alright with your parents,” Mrs. Bech Naesheim said. 

Isak nodded, knowing that even if it wasn’t ok with his parents he’d find a way to stay anyways. He walked forward, pulling up one of the chairs in the room beside Even’s bed, reaching out for his hand and taking it between both of his. His fingers were so cold and it only made Isak cry harder. 

“We’ll leave you alone with him for a bit,” Mrs. Bech Naesheim said softly. “We’ll be in the cafeteria if you need us. You have my number.” 

Isak didn’t move to acknowledge them or speak in response. His attention was solely for Even right then. He refused to leave him alone if he didn’t have to. 

 

__________

 

Isak had been in the hospital for eight hours before Even finally woke up. It was 18:47, visiting hours would be over soon, but Isak didn’t care. He was just happy to see Even awake at all. 

“Hey, baby,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb over the back of Even’s hand. 

Even turned his head slowly to face Isak, his eyes glassy and distant, taking a while to register that he wasn’t alone and that it was Isak beside him. As soon as Isak saw the recognition in Even’s eyes, the boy turned away again, taking his hand with him.

“Why are you here?” he asked, his voice a hoarse whisper. 

“Because I care about you,” Isak said, incredulously. “You’re always taking care of me, you really think I wasn’t going to do the same for you?”

Even closed his eyes, swallowing thickly. 

“Who told you I was here? Who let you in?” 

“Your foster parents,” Isak replied. “They left me a couple of voicemails when they couldn’t find you last night… and you had sent me some messages, too so…. As soon as I knew you were here I came.” 

From under the lashes fanned across his cheeks, Isak could see tears forming, several falling down his beautiful boy’s face. 

“Even,” Isak whispered, reaching to take back Even’s hand and pressing it to his lips. “Baby, it’s ok. Everything’s going to be ok.” 

“They’re not going to want me anymore,” Even croaked, the tears falling faster now. “They’re going to give me up and I’ll have to leave you and start over again. I’ll have to leave you and then you’ll give up on me, too.” 

Before Isak could protest, he was being ushered out of the room by one of the nurses, announcing that visiting hours were over. 

“I’ll be back tomorrow, ok?” Isak called over his shoulder. “Everything is going to be ok, Even. I promise!”

He didn’t Even look in Isak’s direction as he left. 

 

__________

Even after he was discharged from the hospital, Isak continued to visit Even everyday for as long as he could. Even on Christmas, he found a way to sneak away from his family to lay in bed beside him, taking every touch, every word as a victory. 

Even spent most of his time sleeping or staring off silently from the safety of his bed. Most of the time he was ok with Isak staying with him but, other times he would send him away, saying that he couldn’t bare for Isak to see him like this anymore, that Isak deserved better than to waste his time with a “nutcase” who couldn’t even get out of bed.

When this happened, Isak would leave Even’s room but, not the house. He’d go into the kitchen and prepare Even’s next meal-- regardless of whether he’d actually eat it-- sit with his foster parents in the living room to either chat or watch something on TV, waiting for Even to call him back again. 

 

“We’re really so grateful for you, Isak,” Mr. Bech Naesheim said to him one day. “I don’t know that we could have made as much progress with Even if we didn’t have your help and support.” 

Isak nodded, chewing on his lip and thumbing his mug of tea. They were sitting around the dining table, waiting for Even to wake up. He’d been getting a lot better-- he was talking more, had dragged himself out of bed to shower, was even eating more than one meal a day, sometimes without anyone prodding him to do so. 

It was slow and tedious but, it was progress all the same. 

“Can I ask you something?” Isak asked, looking up to meet their eyes only for a moment before looking down again. “It’s kind of personal, and serious but, I need to know.” 

“What is it, Isak?” Mrs. Bech Naesheim asked, her brows furrowing in worry.

Isak took a deep breath and met their eyes again. 

“Are you going to give him up?” he asked, trying to supress the tremor in his voice. “Are you going to send off to another family now?”

The couple looked shocked by the question, their mouths agape and brows raised. Isak wasn’t sure if this was a good or bad sign so, he waited silently, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst.

“What?” Mrs. Bech Naesheim sputtered. “No! No, of course not. Why would you think that?”

“That’s what he’s afraid of,” Isak said, frowning at his tea. “He’s afraid that you’re going to give him up like the last family and he’ll have to leave Oslo… leave me and everything that he’s built here.” 

Mr. Bech Naesheim huffed in disbelief before standing up and exiting the room, marching like a man on a mission. Isak was afraid for a moment that he was going to wake Even up and bother him with this, maybe even start yelling like Isak’s dad definitely would have in this situation. But, the older man was back shortly, a stack of papers tied with a bright green ribbon in his hands. 

He placed the papers in front of Isak for him to see. Isak’s mouth dropped when he read the heading. 

“Adoption papers?” 

The couple nodded. “We were planning on giving him these as a Christmas gift, a way of asking if he’d want to be a part of this family, permanently,” Mr. Bech Naesheim explained. 

“But, with all that’s happened,” Mrs. Bech Naesheim continued. “We thought it best to wait until he’s feeling better… it would just overwhelm him further. He’s not in a place to make such a big decision.” 

“When are you going to ask him then?” Isak asked. 

His mind was buzzing with the prospect of the adoption, the certainty and security that would come with Even legally finding his home here, the love and relief the boy would feel. Even had never talked about adoption with Isak before but, Isak couldn’t find a reason that would cause the other boy to take the offer negatively. 

Part of Isak agreed with Mr. and Mrs. Bech Naesheim, that it would be best to wait until Even was more stable. But, another part-- a much larger part-- believed that this was exactly what Even needed to hear right then. He needed to know that he wasn’t going to be discarded again, that he was loved and wanted. 

“We aren’t sure,” Mr. Bech Naesheim said. “Definitely before his eighteenth birthday. But…. well, we’ve never had to deal with anything like this before… we don’t really know what will or won’t trigger further depression.”

“I think you should tell him soon,” Isak said, the words rushing out his mouth faster than he could think about what he was saying. “He thinks that noone wants him. He needs to know that’s not the case.” 

Before they could respond, the sound of feet padding across wood flooring interrupted them. All heads turned to see Even wrapped in his duvet by the entryway. He made grabby hands at Isak, indicating he wanted him to come and cuddle. Isak’s mouth quirked, glad to see his touchy, loving boy coming back bit by bit. 

“I’m coming, baby,” he said, getting up from his chair as he did. 

As Isak let Even grab his hand and lead him back to his bed, he turned to give Even’s foster parents a meaningful look. He hoped it was enough to push them in the right direction. 

 

__________

 

It wasn’t until mid February that Isak got the news. 

 

Even and his foster parents had decided that it was best for Even to take the semester off and finish his degree the following year. He was still deeply depressed, even if he was far more functional than he had been in those first few weeks. Isak would visit everyday after school to make up for lost time during the school day, regaling him with stories of what he was missing with the boys, all the absurd gossip and other things happening at Nissen.  

They had told the Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi about them, their relationship. Isak felt foolish for worrying so much about what they would think afterwards-- they’d been nothing but loving and accepting. Magnus had been his oblivious, ignorant self-- unsurprisingly-- but, they knew that he didn’t mean anything by it. Sometimes the boys would come with Isak to visit Even and it was just like before all that had happened before break. It was a relief to both of them but, especially Even who was so easily convinced of his unwantedness. 

Slowly, thanks to Vilde Isak was sure, the rest of the school caught wind of Isak and Even’s relationship as well. He’d gotten a few stares and whispers at first but, Isak found that his life didn’t change much by his being out. In fact, he’d had a few people congratulate him (which was a strange and unnecessary experience but, Isak wasn’t complaining.)

 

It was the second week of February, six weeks into the spring term, and just like every other day, Isak was headed to Even’s for the evening. He didn’t even bother knocking anymore-- he knew the door was left unlocked for him.

As he toed out of his shoes and shucked off his coat, he called out, “Even, I’m here! Where are you?”

“Living room!” Even replied. His voice sounded less hoarse and Isak smiled. 

Progress.

When he entered the room, Isak was greeted by the soft sound of Illimatic playing from the surround sound system, the smell of one of Mrs. Bech Naesheim’s many dessert scented candles (he was pretty sure this one was creme brulee), and Even sitting on the couch with a stack of papers in his hand. 

Isak froze, unable to do anything but stare. He knew what those papers were. He’d been waiting for this since he’d first learned of their existence.

Even looked up when he finally sensed Isak’s presence in the room. He grinned and stood up to pull Isak into his arms press a kiss to his forehead. 

“Halla, baby.”

“Hei,” Isak breathed. “How are you today?”

“Actually,” Even said, pulling them back down onto the couch. “Really good.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

Even held up the papers in his hand, grinning wider. 

“They want to adopt me,” he whispered, his eyes shining.

Isak let out a choked laugh, his chest welling up with emotion. 

“Oh my gosh-- Even! That’s so wonderful. What did you say?”

Even bit his lower lip, though the corners of his mouth still twitched upwards. He placed the papers on the coffee table and turned his body so he was fulling facing Isak. Isak followed suit, placing a hand behind Even’s head so he could play with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

“I was really scared at first,” Even replied honestly. “I don’t think I’d ever even let myself think of the possibility that someone might want me for real… partially because that had never been the case before, you know? But, also, because I couldn’t imagine anyone ever replacing my parents.”

“But?” Isak added, hearing the word without Even having to say it. 

“But,” Even smiled. “I really love what I’ve found with Emilie and Jeppe, what I’ve found at Nissen, what I’ve found with you,” he reached out at this, cupping Isak’s cheeking and stroking it with his thumb. Isak leaned in the touch, closing his eyes and humming happily. “And I know that my parents would want this for me, a family. I’m not replacing them, I’m just finding a home again.” 

“So, you’re going to do it?” Isak asked, his smile growing impossibly large.

Even nodded. There were tears forming at the corners of his eyes but, Isak knew that they were happy tears. The boy was grinning so brightly it was impossible for them to be anything else. 

Isak lurched forward, taking Even’s face in his hands and kissing him with all he had. Even didn’t hesitate to return the kiss, wrapping his arms around Isak’s waist to pull him closer. The kiss was sloppy and wet and they were both smiling so much they had barely any lip to keep it going. But, they held onto each other all the same, pressing kisses where they could and wiping each other’s tears off their cheeks. 

“I love you,” Isak said, his forehead against Even’s and his lips brushing against the other’s. “I love you and I will keep loving you for as long as you let me.”

Even closed his eyes, a small laugh bubbling from his mouth. He surged forward for one, two, three sweet kisses before pulling back and gripping Isak’s face in his hands. He had enough space between them so that they could properly see each other, so Isak was able to see the pure elation on the other boy’s face. 

“Then we’ll be loving each other for a lifetime. I’m not letting this go until it’s pried from my cold, dead hands.”

Isak snorted. “Romantic.”

Even laughed, throwing his head back. Isak swore his heart burst at the act. It’d been so long since he’d heard that laugh, seen so much happiness erupting from his boy. 

“I love you, Isak,” Even murmured. “Thank you for bringing back hope into my life.”


End file.
